Moving

Eventhough part of my job is to pack my things for work on an almost-daily basis, I absolutely loathe packing. Especially packing your entire life to move out and into a new place. There's the packing ... and then the unpacking. Oh. I wish I could pay people to pack/unpack stuff for me.

I was feeling so damn infuriated with everything yesterday - I tossed out 5 trash bags full of clothes and things I haven't used/worn in a year. Ì have no idea why I'm such a hoarder. I guess I'm just one of those people who attaches too much sentimental value to physical objects.

It's a shame to throw out pretty good clothes but there's just no space for me to haul all those to the new place and thennnn find somewhere I can donate them to. Hopefully someone will dumpster-dive and find those clothes and make them to good use. Floor rags pun jadilah.

I am supposed to be working today, but I just reported sick cos the move day is today! I guess I can't leave it all to Schmelly to do it all alone. There's just too many things. Plus, my sister in law is in town with her fiancé so also an opportunity to spend some time with them. Sometimes there's no choice but to fake a sick day cos there's no way the office would grant emergency leaves for this. And there's no one who wants to take your (sucky) flight for free. You just gotta do what you gotta do.

I'm still abit dazed about the amount of things that Schmelly and I have - only a year and a half together ... and we are on the brink of hoarding. I can't sleep thinking of the amount of hardwork that we have to get done tomorrow. Oh I wish I'd wake up and everything had miraculously moved.

Rants

Really sick of people coming up to me and texting and messaging me through FB about why they weren't invited to my wedding. ITS COS WE JUST REGISTERED AND THERE WASN'T A GODDAMNED RECEPTION. Yet.

We dont come from wealthy families that can fork out ten and thousands of dollars at a drop of a hat to throw a big shabang. It takes time and resources to plan a whole wedding ceremony and reception. Its awesome of a whole wad of cash could miraculously  fall from the sky into my bank account to help me out but yeah, snap back to reality shall we?

Hells yeah, it would be great to have the whole world come and attend the wedding, but our guestlist is limited to about 150-200 guests max - 140 of which consists of our close relatives. That leaves very little room for friends who we could invite. I am sorry if I dont happen to include you in my guestlist cos hmmm we've only hung out like, once? And I'm indebted to you?

I am ranting cos I've got people I barely know coming up to me saying Congrats and then ambushing me cos I didn't tell them or invite them to the shindig making it seem like I've commited capital crime. Why?  Why is it sooo important for me to tell you? Why is it so important for you to be at my wedding?

Schmelly and I are very private people, so we don't go broadcasting about our lives on the billboard. On top of the stress of making decisions about the details of everything, I've got all this.

Perhaps you mean well ... you want to share our happiness but think about the situation - sure we've exchanged pleasantries before, but would I be the first person you think to invite if it were YOUR wedding?

Hermit

I am a hermit! Self proclaimed. I guess I've been antisocial - not very healthy but the excessive human interaction at work had gradually morphed me into being a little hermit. Love having time to myself - cleaning, cooking, reading, shopping. But I guess I do miss times with my soulsista Alau ... you know, effortless hang outs, you don't have to say much to each other cos you know what each other are thinking. I guess I miss the company of girlfriends.

There are a few good girlfriends that I have around - but no one close enough for me to call and hang out with to have a heart to heart about anything under the sun. I do have a close gay guyfriend who I can effortlessly hangout with (and need not impress cos he is soooo much more stylish than I will ever be even if I tried) but he has been caught up with his new love.

I have been complaining about how boring life has been recently, so yea, I am going to go out of my way - venture a little out of my shell and get to know more people. Like for instance, I finally met Wanie (officially) in the shuttle van (out of all places) in KK (after stalking her blog for quite a while) and it was like - surreal!

I guess I should be more open to getting to know all types of people - not only people who have common interests as I do - who knows what I'd learn, right?

That's it - being more sociable. And losing weight before the deadline of weight check submission *coughs*

Stress Desu Ne

Feeling exhausted and fat. All these new girls on their first solo flight - slender, tall, with their eager expressions - makes me feel like a whale in comparison.

After a wholesome late lunch today I thought it was good (for my self esteem) to go to the gym for a run. Managed about 50 minutes until I had stitches and decided to stop. No point trying to bust my appendics on a nightstop!

Also had alot to eat at home last night (Miri nightstop ftw!) cos mummy cooked up a storm. Posted a picture on Instagram (which auto links to my Fb and Twitter) and was surprised to see myself commenting on my own picture. When I read the comment (which was written in perfect Kelabit) I instantly knew it was either mum or dad. Then it hit me that I signed in to my FB via her phone last night cos my  phone went dead. *smacks head* It was challenging enough tp accept their friend request on FB, but to have mum refusing to sign out of my FB and stalking me - a little overthe top kan? Andddd two days ago, I tweeted "I always feel better after getting a gel manicure (pls dont tell my mum cos i promised her no manicures til the reception)". And yesterday she said to me "You did ur nails kan?" "Huh?" "Ì read your tweet lah." Oh God. How. Freaky. Is. That. So now I have her on my FB, Twitter ... goodness knows she might be reading my blog as well.

I'm so stressed out about it. Not to mention feeling bloaty, to which my leading steward suddenly wondered out loud today, "You baru kahwen eh? Pregnant ke? Tummy menonjol je." What. The...
Makin stressssssssss!!!!!!!!!! Doesn't help that I already am fat. Ugh

I'm gonna go hide under the covers and pop a sleepin pill so I wont think about all this any longer.

.

Everyone thinks that my work is so much fun and easy. Keyword : Easy. General perception : I wake up singing show tunes, have fun playing and putting up make up, getting my hair all dolled up, put on my pressed uniform, pull my trolley bag and skip to work tra la la la la. On a good day - perhaps that *really* does happen. On days where it has been your sixth day working continuously - its really just : getting angry at the annoying snoozing alarm, begrudgingly rolling out of bed, dragging myself to the shower and standing for 5 minutes (with eyes still closed) to wait for the water to heat up, have a bad face/hair day, forgot that I haven't ironed my uniform, kick around my trolley bag and slouch my way to work.

It is definitely two contrasting scenarios - if acted out and played in two windows side by side would probably be a super hilarious sitcom. But obviously right now there's definitely nothing to laugh about cause I feel like I'm stretched to the limit - my feet hurts, my body aches, my head is throbbing, my stomach is rumbling and I got a papercut right under my chin from trying to sniff a Davidoff strip in a magazine. I really am contemplating feigning sick tomorrow - but the thought of going all the way to the docs' ... malas la pulak.

I know I really should feel motivated to work, well, at least have something to motivate me to go to work ... but I come up empty. Somehow the thought of money doesn't entice me much. The travelling, which in perspective sounds so ideal initially, has just become taxing and boring. Places that I used to love the most has just become lifeless and unexciting.  There's just not much to look forward to. For instance, crew are getting more and more impatient at the fact that the roster is published so late this month. Me? I couldn't care less. Maybe if I really were to expect something ... then all I really2 want is perhaps a Miri trip or nightstop or long threedays off so I can go back home and refresh myself a little.

It has come to a point where I feel like life is getting a little too stagnant, even contemplated if I should start the baby making process, but nah - nothing that rash just yet. I really should dive into finding a new pastime. Reading hasn't been helping me escape the dullness of life recently. I need a project. Hm.

.

So conflicted on whether I should go out to get something to eat. I'm currently lying in bed, watching Pretty Little Liars S.3, drinking Earl Grey and eating my Bacon and Cheese Shapes. Went out last night with the set (two girls from my set were first timers here in Manila) thinkin it would be a quick one - or so I thought. It ended up being a three hour shopping madness. The set insisted to go together and return together so they insisted that to buy food on the way back. Unfortunately t was 0130 when we made our way back and McD was closed. Had to go back empty handed and empty stomached and had really bad gastric. Ate my Gaviscon and nomed on Shapes and gradually fell asleep with a rumbling tummy.

So far I've been trying to curb the hunger by downing 1.5 litres if water. Seems to be helping ... after this long post, I think I'm better off sitting here til call time - wanna be skinny anyway. Hah!

Mini Vacay

It's just one of those vacation trips, 5 days long, but we only worked for the first 3 days. Why? How you ask? Not to brag but hellz yeahz I am definitely going to brag! It's a once in a blue moon thing - where your roster is super duper naissss. It was KL-KK on the first day. The next day was KK-Hong Kong-KK, followed by a longggggggggg almost 24-hour stay until we had to do KK-Perth the next day. Then we got one day off in Perth, and positioned back to KL on the airbus the EVENING after. And it was all financed by the company. Love love love! Although I was a tad bit broke while I was there but Schmelly had AUD$40 left from his previous trip to Melbourne and had gave that to me to spend. It proved to be just enough for the stay there. I spent most of my $ on groceries at Woolsworth (can I just say that I love love love love love love love Australian supermarkets?! I love supermarkets in general - but OZ is the best!). I went crazy combing the racks and shelves looking for brands that can't be found in KL. I was tempted to get TimTams but nothing special that I couldn't buy right here in KL (Hock Choon stocks the best collection of Tams). Of course I had to get my Cheese and Bacon Cheetos Cheeseballs ... as well as the Cheese and Bacon Shapes (can you tell how much I love bacon?).

The rest of the crew utilized their time well by going to the zoo to see kangaroos and koalas and I wished that I changed more dollars to join them - but ah well. There's always next time I guess. Spent our time walking around the city appreciating the laid back-ness of everything. I mean we didn't hear a single honk throughout the 4 hours we spent sitting and walking around. This time around we walked all the way to the pier and noticed that there were jelly fishes wobbling around in the waters. There aren't alot of traffic in Perth - cos the residents prefer to bike or walk around. I think Perth would be a suitable place to go and retire. I can't think if anyone that would be stressed out working or living there.

I didn't manage to catch up with Anthony again this time around - I guess I should've informed him much much much earlier. But I am thinking of going for a trip there next time - perhaps with my parents and Schmelly. Not on a work trip but for a short vacation. That's one plan to throw in the many others that I've yet to carry out. Heh

Cant say that I was exhausted - we barely worked for goodness sake - and positioning yesterday proved to be very productive cos I managed to catch up and watched all the series that I wanted to. Speaking of which, I've got to download the rest of the series! Laterzzzzzzzzzz