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There is something that I'm struggling with right now, bigger than anything I'd have to face before. It's something that might just break me, but with the right decision - might just build me up. I know the consequences, but I'm not willing to take that step just yet. I don't know what I'm waiting around for. I don't know whether it is waiting around for.
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And there's no point in me denying it at all.
I'm sad cos Mum had the day off and we're supposed to have mummy-daughter day, but everything seems so awkward somehow :(
I'm sad cos I wanted to see him so badly, but I couldn't :((
I'm sad cos I was looking forward to sitting around having long talks over teatime with her but couldn't cos last minute, plans changed. :(((
I'm sad cos I thought that we were finally going to have an awesome sitaroundthetable big happy family dinner tonight, but instead everyone opted to have dinner at their own "convenient" times. :((((
I'm sad cos I was waiting around for an invitation that was never going to happen. :(((((
I'm sad cos I was actually really looking forward to it. :((((((
I'm sad cos I actually curled my hair, just IN CASE the invitation came through. :(((((((
I'm sad cos I made a fool outta myself thinking that it WOULD come through. :((((((((
I'm sad cos I called up my friends to hang out somewhere to cheer myself up but they all had their own plans. :(((((((((
I'm sad cos I'm mad at myself for being sad. :(((((((((
I'm sad cos I'm bawling my eyes out into my hot cup of tea. :(((((((((((
I'm sad cos this post is suddenly not making any sense and the word sad ceases to have a meaning to it now that I've overused it. :((((((((((((
Finally (oh yes, there's a finale.), I'm sad cos I'll be leaving in approximately 2 days and I have mixed emotions about leaving. :(((((((((((((
So there it is.
<:'(
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Getting rid of unecessary toxins, since all I do these days is sit at home chore-ing. Being the 'extreme-ist', I downed two full glass of the green gunk.
I can now literally refer to the porcelain bowl as my throne.
*
Had an awesome long talk with a long time friend today. I discovered that we still think alike on the same things, which resulted in us interjecting each other with: 'OMG, I SAID/THOUGHT/DID THE EXACT SAME THING!!!'
It was fabulous to be able to get so many things out. Kinda like detoxing as well. The process is not enticing, but you sure feel loads better afterwards. Okay, bad anology, but point transmitted. Kan?
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The skin on my entire body hurts. I'm not sure why - but my paranoid mind keeps telling me that its probably cos I've been eating so much that my skin is stretching out. Adakah macam ya? Screw diets, I mean this is Miri! There's always something different you eat everyday! The endless possibilities. I've yet to have lelapan tongkol, bak kut teh, and the kueh tiaw kerang (that i can eat duak pinggan of *coughcough*).
It weird how I always go round to the refridgerator and look for food when I'm here. Just like this afternoon, I was feeling a little peckish. So I discovered a tiny *ehem* bit of rice left in the pot. Guess what I did? NASIK GORENG BUTTER. For.An.Afternoon.Snack. KILL ME NOW.
I think betol bah my skin is the pain pain ow ow cos I've been having things like the AFOREMENTIONED as snacks. *pokes self in the eyes*
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Need I say more?
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...by your love, boy.
there's nothing in this world that even comes close to that.
i'm sorry things didn't turn out as we'd like today,
and i'm still apologizing.
i wish it was easier.
i wish things were much different.
the efforts you went through.
the time money and energy spent.
the look i see in your eyes when you gaze at me.
it breaks my heart to say,
"i gotta go."
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Good Morning!!
(click lah please)
(please!)
i dont know whether to love her or to absolutely hate her.
i died a little looking at those pictures.
...after i gained about 2893762 milipounds (ada kah such thing?).
...and almost licking the screen.
edit
ps: oh oh ohhh and this is just *ROFL* too cute!!
Banana Guard
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dl: how long are you gonna be in miri for?
teena: goin bck on the 11th
dl: eh thats not too bad ley
t: yeshh i guess so. just enough time to get me fat. then send me back to kl to lose weight. yes?
dl: babe!! hahahahaa.. y u think u is fat laaaaaaaa!!
dl: u nottttttttttt!!!!!!!
t: is the very!! wanna b skinny like vicky b.
dl: thn can just eat kertas A4
dl: 1 helai one day with a glass of water
t: haiyah a4 so big. B5 lah.
dl: *rofl emoticon
t: no no. water kenot. with laxatives.
t: then throw up everything.
dl: buyaaiiiiiiiiiiiiii
*
in the car
na: ... then he said to me *stops in midsentence*
t: what?
na: i very short term memory lah.
t: doh. aren't we all?
na: what was i saying?
t: ...'he was telling you something ...'
na: oh ya kan. so i was saying to him lah ... *stops in midsentence*
t: what? what?
na: *peers through the windscreen* are the headlights on?
t: *nose practically squished on windscreen* uhuh. yeah. they're on
na: macam sik. *flicks headlights* oh, on lah ya.
na: what was i saying?
t: ...'you were saying something to him..."
na: oh yaaaa. then ... aaaaaaaaaaaaah! *swerves*
t: omg. what?
na: i can't see lahhh.
t: what you mean u cant see? i lagi terok, rabun malam.
na: sama lah us. *proceeds to remove safety belt and pushes up to the steering wheel* sebok jak belt tok.
t: er.
na: what was i saying?
t: can we focus on getting there in ONE PIECE first. then we sambung cerita?
na: okay, hey - cant i potong masuk here?
t: eh, what? no you ca- *she swerves left into the junction* aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh!!!!!!!
t: oi!!!!!!!!
na: whatt i signal bah!
t: still!!!
na: its okay lah. i just kenot see.
t: that's NOT something a passenger yang belom kawen polah wedding kacak with peonies and sakuras would like to hear.
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emailchrizteenasue[at]yahoo[dot]com
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